Malewife Article

Malewife, who is he? What does he smell like? When did his grandma die? All these questions will be answered in this article.

Malewife is an eighth-grader with questionable morals and delicious hair. Malewife is mainly known for the fact that he’s really dumb and doesn’t know what he’s doing in class. Of course, I don’t mean that in a rude way…. Unless.

Malewife’s mom just happens to be named after my favorite greek goddess, Athena, and his mom used to have bronchitis. I just so happen to have his whole schedule memorized, I an and will use it against him, jkjk… unless.

I know that at least one of his friends is reading this, correction, one of his few friends. My malewife is a beta male, of course, I am his alpha.

Malewife doesn’t know about my secret organization, the “malewife fan club,” ask me if you want to join ;).

Something important about malewife is that he uses old spice bear glove body wash, which smells like apple, citrus, and a little bit of spice. Coincidently malewife also lives on (censored by a different person)Street, whenever I pass censored street I perform the secret malewife summoning ritual, (100% guaranteed to work.)

Malewife’s family includes his mom Athena, His younger sister Khloe and Laila, and his dead grandparent, Ricky (who died at age 69), and Pamela (1956-2013).

Malewife isn’t very smart, so he uses his hair to cover up his acne, which isn’t helping much considering it’s still there.

Malewife is an emo (sussy) and he didn’t cry at his grandpa’s funeral, he also drank coffee for the first time at his grandpa’s funeral.

His mom also adds recipes to her Pinterest boards.

In conclusion, malewife is a kawaii emo Baka, smells like apple, citrus, and a little bit of spice, and his grandma died in 2013.

A song lyric that reminds me of malewife, but I’ve never spoken to him.

Six feet tall and super strong

We'd always get along

Alright, alright

Oh, he'd pick me up at eight

And not a minute late

Cause I don't like to wait, no

Kind and ain't afraid to cry

Or treat his momma right

That's right, that's what I like